Requesting a Written Interview

Sometimes I am tempted to request a written interview over email. Here's one of those times:

Client:
Thank you for contacting me. Please give me a call at xxx xxx xxxx.

Me:
Would you mind doing the interview over email?

Client:
Would you hire someone you don't know and pay them money without speaking to them first? If you were me, would that be fair to you?

Me:
I would definitely stage written interviews if I were hiring. I don't know if it's fair. I've always thought that written communication evens the playing field.

Client:
Lol, you are a fraud.

Your resume is a lie. There is absolutely no way in hell you have worked professionally, and gotten hired for a job by refusing to answer your phone.

No company wants a loser like that. So, my advice for you. If you truly are a programmer, develop some confidence and stop hiding on the internet inflating your resume to include jobs you have never had.

I knew you where lying as soon as I saw the long made up resume you submitted.

You people use 70 different emails to apply for the same job and get rejected 70 times. But you can't disguise your voice. That's why you can't talk to me. Because you are a liar.